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Showing posts from 2012

How I Got Over My Break-Up

I started dating when I was 18 and out of those 5 years, i've had some pretty hard breakups. Most were easier to get over, taking only a couple days or a month to let go, none of them compared to this one. My days were spent consuming myself of the memory of him, replaying the break up over and over in my head, trying to understand why he was more interested in someone he barely knew when I offered him everything I could for him. I think I listened to every sad song from Adele to Carly Simon, watched every romantic movie, and used so many tissues, kleenex had to put a shipment on back order. You can't really prepare yourself for a situation that almost puts you out of control. You may have been through similar situations in the past, but when the will to overcome is so strong and clarity seems so far away it may feel impossible. I had an extremely hard time letting go of something that wasn't finished and meant a lot to me, more because it didn't end peacefully. I fel…

Holiday Shopping For Him

One of the most exciting things about gift giving is knowing that a special someone will be on your shopping list this year. If you've been dating for only one month or almost a year it can be a challenge of what to get as well as how much is too much to spend on your new love.

Just Met:(Budget: Under $15) The funny thing about timing, you never know when Cupid's arrow will strike you. The biggest dilemma when meeting someone less than a month before the holidays is you don't want to come off too bold, but you still want to buy something that says "I like you, and I'm glad we get to share this day together"

1-3 Months (Budget $15-35)During the first few months, you don't want to go overboard with the gift giving. Try to keep it modest without revealing how much you spent on him. Things like Gift Cards are an easy tell. Try looking out for items that suit his interest. Books on his favorite sports player, a small gift set of his favorite cologne , or a box…

Meeting The Family

The holidays are can be a reminder for many things, childhood, traditions, events. However, when you're an adult and single, it can also be a reminder to bring a date to Thanksgiving dinner. For others who are already in an on going relationship, the holidays also plays a part in testing each other if they can survive meeting the parents. Many people believe that one's family makes or breaks the continuance of a relationship. If meeting his friend weren't scary enough now you have to face making a good impression with his entire family, who generally are the people who matter most to him.
The first thing to remember is the obvious. Be yourself, but not the you that you act around with your friends. They do want you to be casual and relaxed they can sense BS very easily so don't play them for fools. Warm up to them know what lines you can and cannot cross. Don't try to impress them with gifts and avoid spending hours picking the perfect outfit or practicing in the…

Cooking On A Budget

You're officially on your own and due to the lack of home cooked meals from mom & dad, you are now responsible to feed yourself. Even if you're already an experienced cook, you still have to make sure to manage a decent budget of groceries to last you at least two weeks. Follow these steps to avoid mastering different ways to make Ramon.

Step1: Stock your Kitchen

Before you do anything, it's important to supply your kitchen with the basics. Large appliances such as food processors and stand mixers don't have to come until later.

Stores Like Sears, and Walmart sell great cooking sets with different sized pots,pans,and,mixing bowls  that are inexpensive Utensils other than your basic knife and fork are essential when cooking Items such as Knives Spoons Spatulas Can opener (* Always have one that is non electric for emergency*) Tongs Storage & Prep Cutting Board Foil/Plastic Wrap Food Storage ContainersFreezer/Storage Bags Seasoning You should always have the fo…

The Living at Home Blues

For some, living at home isn't that big a deal, while for others, it can feel almost like their own personal version of Shawshank. Overall you're grateful you have a warm place to sleep at night and dependable "roommates" you can turn to when needed, but unfortunately these roommates aren't you're average 20 something college student, they're your parents and with parents come a set a rules. Eventually these rules turn into an entire constitution of laws you must abide by which could interfere with a little thing you like to call your personal life.

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

At some point everyone has to move out of their parents house, but the last thing you want to do is move out wrong. If living at home is starting to become a serious problem or burden to your life as far as hanging out with friends or dating, make a list of the things that are becoming an issue. At the end of the day it's gonna be their rules against your will to be an adult. …

Why Married Men Flirt

Let me just cut to the chase and say married men who flirt are NOT monsters. However there is a thin line between harmless flirting and crossing a major line of respect for your significant other. Lets start from the root of the issue of why men flirt. Men are known to be more sexual than woman. Studies have shown that 54% of men think about sex every day or several times a day. vs 67% of woman who think about sex a few times a month. (The Social Organization of Sexuality: Edward O. Laumann, John H. Gagnon, Robert T. Michael, and Stuart Michaels). Even though men think about sex and are thinking about it alot doesn't mean that all men, especially all married men act on each impulse they have. If that were the case every lawyer in America would be booked up until summer 2015.

We all know that come that big day of when a man and woman say their vows in front of God and everybody they are making a promise to each other. However, just because one is devoted to a particular person fo…

Beware of the Basket Case

Quiz: Answer Yes, or No to the following questions

1. Do you consider yourself to be a very caring person?
2.Are you always there for your friends and family putting them first before yourself?
3.Do people usually come to you for advice or to reconcile whether they know you that well or not?
4. Do you feel you're always giving in all of your relationships and not really receiving the same in return?
5..Are you optimistic about dating people who have many differences?
6. Do you ever find yourself looking for comfort or compassion in people you get close to?

If you answered yes to three or more of these questions you may have a strong habit of falling for victimized men. Hero Syndrome, Messiah complex, no matter what you call it. Feeling the need to rescue someone because they are selling you this hum drum story of their life can be one of the most unhealthy habits when dating. It is always paramount to be there for your significant other when they face a hard situation or prob…

Top 5 Dating Myths

I'm not an expert on dating nor have a figured out the right way to date in order to get "The Guy",but I have come to learn that while there are some rules you should follow there are also some that don't garuntee anything in your favor.

Myth#1:  A Long Date or Extended Date Is A Sure Sign There Will Be A Second Date

Truth: I've been on plenty of first dates where dinner lasted over 3 hours or we do another activity causing me to be home after 10pm but don't base a great date on a for sure sign there will be 2nd date. He could a. only see you a great company putting you in the friend zone because there isn't enough to based a romantic relationship or b. You may not be the only one he's talking to. This is why i try to make it a mandatory option to make plans after the 1st date so you know then and there what your odds are.

Myth#2 "Future" References Means he likes you

Truth: Well it can be a half truth I personally  make future references be…

Top 5 BULLSH@# Lies Men Tell Women

Lies Men Say While Dating
LIE#1 "I'm not looking for anything serious right now" if said after being rejected this means "I'm not looking for anything serious WITH YOU" if said on the first couple of dates this means "I really just want a FWB relationship with you but don't want to say that" usually this tactic is for you to second guess your intentions and agree so you conform to his wants were you're convincing yourself he's making you more mellow instead of rushing into somethingLIE#2 "I'm not a phone person" or "Sorry I havn't gotten back to you i've just been really busy" if a guy pulls this line which may be true don't fall for it. I have plenty of friends who delay texts or never call making me question why i even pay for minutes, however if a guy really likes you and no one else that "i'm not a phone person" speech should be irrelevant because the last thing he wants is to push…

How To: Go To a Concert Alone

One of the most popular things people like to do for fun, is attend a concert of their favorite artist. Whether it's a small show, local  band, or three day festival, live shows can be a very exciting experience. However, there may come a time where you might have to make a decision to attend it alone or not go at all. I love music, and there's no secret about that among my friends and family. Since I attended my first concert three years ago, I've been bitten by the concert bug, and will make a effort to attend any event with my favorite artist.

My new obsession is actually my pick of the month last November singer songwriter Andy Grammer. While i had already attended his headlining tour this past February, he was still on tour and is now opening for the band Train in Atlantic City. Unfortunately for me, I was stood up last minute and had to attend the event alone. (Dating Tip#43 Doing the "Friend Thing" with your ex doesn't guarantee a loyal friend..use c…

B*TCH! Stole My Man!

It happens all the time, which is why so many chick flicks and vh1 reality shows are built around it. Your once boyfriend is now head over heels for another girl, and your first instinct is to claw her eyes out. When do we reach the point of harmless jealous to total insanity?

He Dumped You:

In many cases, breakups come completely out of nowhere which hurt the most when you assumed things were fine. Whether it was immediately or after some time has passed he's moved on and you're killing yourself trying to understand why her and not you! If you only dated for a month or for as long as 3 years, this situation can take some time to get over.

You Dumped Him

For whatever reason, you felt it was time to go your separate ways until the day you find how much of a different person he seems with the new girl in his life causing you to rethink the mistake you made.

Ex Meets Next

Either you're at a party,random run in at the supermarket, or your basic cyber stalking the two of you …

When You Shouldn't Give Advice

We have all been in a situation where deep down we know the answer to a problem, but need a second opinion. That's when our friends or associates come in handy. We hope they give us an answer we want to hear or calm us by showing we are not alone and that it happens all the time. However, one may find themselves running to individuals who should never give people advice.

There are 3 types of people you should avoid taking advice from

1. The Cliche Console-r: This Person would be best for starting a fortune cookie company rather than giving you advice. They pretty much absorbed every line they've heard from movies, song lyrics, and chick flicks. When all of there words of wisdom sounds more like a twitter status don't bother contemplating on what they are telling you. Though there may be some truth to the cheesy phrase they just told you, you're not even listening, you want someone who is more personable than cliche.

2. The Self Involved "Listener": Emphasis …

Know Who You're Dating

Think back in your mind of when you lived at home, and if you still do think back to the days of when you were dating a new guy and your mom had a million questions that you didn't know the answers to yet. "Is he married?" "What does he do for a living?" "Why is he single?” As annoying as it was, you mom knew to ask you all of these picky questions not to be a nag, but to alert you that these are the important questions that you should be asking.

How many times have you sat in your own thoughts confused of how he went from this knight in shining armor to Dr Jekel and Mr. Hyde? It's so easy to get caught up in the fantasy, and the idea of something that seems to be almost perfect, but it's more important to always know the prologue before starting the fairytale

You know the phrase "Don't put the cart before the horse" or "Don't put all your eggs into one basket"?

As old as those phrases are, they say so much that is st…

Beware of the Doppelganger

Everyone has a type. Whether it be tall, nice eyes, huge muscles, or a great personality. But what one may not know is while some may be more open to different forms of that type, others can soon become more familiar once they have found a type they really like.
Okay so it's been months since you and your ex have split up, and you recently became aware of his new girlfriend or what others are calling your long lost twin. Believe it or not, this situation is not uncommon. Many men are known for dating a doppelganger of their exes. Once a relationship ends, men like this are more prone to find a more "upgraded" version of what they had before. According to Therapist Dr. Bethany Marshall, dating look a likes of past lovers can become unhealthy. By sticking to the features of one particular person he is replacing that person rather than starting fresh which does not give him any room to grieve nor make room for an attachment for the new woman in his life.
They say imitation …

Does He Like You?

If there is a poll of most frequent questions googled I wouldn't be surprised if the question "Does he like me?" fall into the top 10. For some reason the older we get it still seems like we run into new ways guys express how they feel about a girl causing us to run to every source possible to find the answer. While some give basic answers such as "he appears nervous" others give the most bizarre hints like "his eyes are dialated". I don't know about you, but there would be no way I'd remember half of the things to look out for when talking to a guy I really like. If anything they would probably think I was crazy because I'm looking into their eyes like a rookie cop or focusing on every body angle instead of listening to what they are talking about. So, with all of that saying, "How do you know when he likes you?" Well the answer is really simple.
He wants to know more about you: If he's always asking what you're up to or…

He's Not Out Of Your League

We've all been there, after months of pining over "Mr. Perfect", someway or another you either took the shot and asked him out, told him how you felt, or he came to you, and in the end, you got a date with the guy who you thought didn't even know you existed. So why aren't you jumping up and down right now?

Chemistery: Yes, for there to be any sort of well anything there has to be chemistry. That means you feel comfortable with that person and attracted to that person, which in this case isn't the issue.

STOP!: Society has put rose colored glasses on almost every female to make them believe that all guys want a perfectly polished barbie doll. Before you pull out your emergency credit card for the ultimate makoever realize this important piece of information: HE CHOSE YOU! HE SAID YES WHEN HE COULD OF SAID NO.  No guy (sober) is going to make a move on a girl who may not be the potential person to start a relationship with unless they're just looking for a …

My Top 20 Dating Secrets

I decided to create the best dating rules I've read from magazines,books,and personal experience. With so much information out there of what to do and what not to do you can easily find yourself with enough resources to write a ten page thesis.
Dating Rules
1. When saying goodnight after 1st date smile and thank him for a wonderful time
2. If you forget to say thank you just wait until he contacts you again 3. Keep the conversations short and sweet. Don’t text more than 2 sentences.
4. Have simple feedback to his questions that aren’t too short and have follow up questions
 5. If the first date went longer than planned DON’T make it a habit for others try to change it up sometimes
6. Don’t make it so easy to reach you, keep your usual routine and wait a bit to reply.

7. Don’t always hover on the phone speak the highlights of your day and avoid talking  longer than 15 minutes each conversation
8.If he texts or calls after a brief gap of no communications. Text: Sound happy to…

About The Author (Keli Hall)

I wanted to write this article so you knew the person behind As Told By a Jersey Girl. One of the main reasons why I created this blog was to have a real person share their thoughts and feelings. Not saying that the talented writers of sources such as Cosmopolitan, and Marie Claire for lack of a better term totally suck. I just always felt that the readers don't get a sense of who they are taking advice from. Who is this person, and why should I or anyone listen to them?I want my readers to have an everyday person who has gone through the same problems they have gone through. I don't want my readers to feel like I’m this perfect person and make you feel guilty for making these mistakes.Because the truth of the matter is I am NOT that person. I am not a licensed psychiatrist, nor am I a professional, diagnosing my readers. Every article on my blog is a real (yet common) issue that I have gone through or issues ones close to me have gone through . I wanted to share what I have …

What You May Already Know about Men

To some, dating isn't all that hard. There are the few who have met that special person early in life who they have been with for years and eventually married. There are the few who were in a committed relationship, painted the town red for a bit, and met the love of their life shortly after. Then their is you, where eventually you have grown to HATE all of these people because you're the complete opposite. You feel as if you have the worst luck and have found yourself struggling to meet anyone who wants to even be in a relationship. 
I think Snooki said it best when she said and I quote “Guys … don’t know how to deal with women and I feel that’s why the lesbianrate is going up in this country.”  as troublesome as this New Jersey native can be sometimes, she has a valid point. 
Many Men and Women don't know how to "deal" with each other. Is it because he's a jerk? It is because she's too much? The answer is NO! (well in most cases). It's obvious that me…

The Worlds Worst Text Message

One of the best things about this generation is able to complete everyday tasks at the push of a button. Transfer money, send email, and even file our tax returns. However technology has also made us so fortunate that it’s caused us to be lazy. Once again I’m here to clarify that breaking is up is one of the most uncomfortable situations to be in. However as uncomfortable and awkward as it may be it should still never is handled in the easiest way possible.

What Seems Simple can Actually be More Complicated
Breaking up with someone via text may seem like the best solution. You can avoid the weird conversation, you don't have to see them cry and can avoid a couple swings to face. However, there are only a few cases where you can actually get away with this.

If you're a guy and dumped a girl via text message, have you ever found yourself ignoring calls and text messages of them frantic asking "why are you doing this?", "I hate you", or "talk to me"…