We have all been in a situation where deep down we know the answer to a problem, but need a second opinion. That's when our friends or associates come in handy. We hope they give us an answer we want to hear or calm us by showing we are not alone and that it happens all the time. However, one may find themselves running to individuals who should never give people advice.
There are 3 types of people you should avoid taking advice from
1. The Cliche Console-r: This Person would be best for starting a fortune cookie company rather than giving you advice. They pretty much absorbed every line they've heard from movies, song lyrics, and chick flicks. When all of there words of wisdom sounds more like a twitter status don't bother contemplating on what they are telling you. Though there may be some truth to the cheesy phrase they just told you, you're not even listening, you want someone who is more personable than cliche.
2. The Self Involved "Listener": Emphasis on the word "Listener" this person hears enough that reminds them of themselves, and makes your problem about them. You just spent 5 minutes pouring your heart out for them to pour their heart out about something that doesn't even relate to your problem
3. The "Nancy Grace" Closer: This person is probably the worst person to take advice from. Not only do they judge you, but they make you feel as if you're this complete idiot. Their motto is to "GET OVER IT" like it's as easy as blinking. They obviously are the type of person who was never told "If You Don't Have Anything Nice To Say Don't Say Anything At All"
When you run into people like this the best thing to do is to ignore them. DO NOT take their advice or anything they say to heart. Just because they have an opinion does not give them license to diagnose your problem. If you're going through a break up, social issue, death, or anything that's been consuming all of your thoughts you know first hand it's not always easy. If it was easy you wouldn't need reassurance or advice.
For whatever reason, there are people who forget that there was a time they went through the same situation or similar where most likely they had a hard time with it as well. It's not until a situation happens to us that we go from "sucks to be you" to "Now I know what you were talking about". The solution to a problem is easier said than done. How many times have you seen a scary movie where the killer is right behind the main character and you're saying to yourself "run! what are you doing?" As the audience you see the solution as crystal clear, but for the person in the situation they have much more blocking that view. When you have your emotions, history, and expectations tied into your problem it can be hard to see the "obvious" solution right in front of you when you have 3 or 4 other elements to clear away first.
When giving someone advice even if you don't know what to say try to see it through there eyes. Concentrate on what they are saying. They obviously came to you for a reason regardless if you've only known them a short time. Sometimes we just want someone to listen. However when it's time to put in your two cents the last thing you want to do is let them feel alone in their situation. If you want to tell a story of something similar that you went through to help them cope that's okay just don't use this time to solve your own problems. If you're sure or unsure of what to say, always be sympathetic because you never know when you might need them to listen to you.
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