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Beware of the Basket Case

Quiz: Answer Yes, or No to the following questions

1. Do you consider yourself to be a very caring person?
2.Are you always there for your friends and family putting them first before yourself?
3.Do people usually come to you for advice or to reconcile whether they know you that well or not?
4. Do you feel you're always giving in all of your relationships and not really receiving the same in return?
5..Are you optimistic about dating people who have many differences?
6. Do you ever find yourself looking for comfort or compassion in people you get close to?

If you answered yes to three or more of these questions you may have a strong habit of falling for victimized men. Hero Syndrome, Messiah complex, no matter what you call it. Feeling the need to rescue someone because they are selling you this hum drum story of their life can be one of the most unhealthy habits when dating. It is always paramount to be there for your significant other when they face a hard situation or problem. However, if you have already learned that this person's life has several obstacles they have yet to overcome don't volunteer yourself to turn them into a project.

The first thing you have to realize is you can't change someone no matter how much you think you're only influencing them to change. Second the last thing you want to do is build them up to be a strong partner. If they don't already posses the tools to help hold a solid foundation for your relationship things will not last as long or smoothly as they should. This doesn't mean you can't be there for them and this doesn't mean they are a lost cause, you just have to accept that you can't start a relationship with baggage. Let go of the idea that you can help them "unpack" and have the fairy tale ending you always wanted. You don't want to find yourself in a situation where you're spending more time nurturing them than having the fun and exciting relationship you expected to have. The only thing you can do is be their friend, but expect nothing more you don't need a guy to be broken to be kind.

Lastly, two basket cases don't make one power couple if you are stilll dealing with past demons in your life don't draw yourself to someone else in the same situation. Though they may understand, this could lead to an emotionally abusive relationship. If you're expecting him to save you theres a good chance he's waiting for the same in return or is trying to change you into his idea of how you should be. If you're just getting out of a relationship beware of men who automatically see you as the "damsel in distress" while women like to nurture men who are jilted, some men see woman in this situation as an easy target since you're more venerable and off your game.

The biggest key point to remember is to Never settle into a rocky relationship because you've convinced yourself you won't find the happiness you deserve.


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