For some, living at home isn't that big a deal, while for others, it can feel almost like their own personal version of Shawshank. Overall you're grateful you have a warm place to sleep at night and dependable "roommates" you can turn to when needed, but unfortunately these roommates aren't you're average 20 something college student, they're your parents and with parents come a set a rules. Eventually these rules turn into an entire constitution of laws you must abide by which could interfere with a little thing you like to call your personal life.
Should I Stay or Should I Go?
At some point everyone has to move out of their parents house, but the last thing you want to do is move out wrong. If living at home is starting to become a serious problem or burden to your life as far as hanging out with friends or dating, make a list of the things that are becoming an issue. At the end of the day it's gonna be their rules against your will to be an adult. For a lot of parents just because by law you're considered an adult you're still their responsibility when under their roof.
We all get the obvious "Put yourself in their shoes" visualization, and most likely you would be just as involved and concerned with your own child, however you would want to hope that by their 20s they have learned enough from you to use better judgement where you can loosen the reigns a little bit. Obviously in your case, feeling restricted just makes you want to rebel more if their is no common ground set.
So what now? The first thing is to talk to your parents, share how you feel and try to see if they are willing to compromise with you. If you just cant seem to see eye to eye with every situation it just might be that time to move on. You're getting older and you're priorities and social experiences are changing. Doesn't matter if you're 25 or 35, you're going to have to learn on your own. Your parents had to, now you do. That's just how life goes.
Preparing to Move Out
If you've decided to move out, it's important to make a plan, the last thing you want to do is leave out of anger without a plan, a permanent place to stay and, livable income. You want to avoid the awkward moment when you have to move back in getting the old "I told you so" speech they already had prepared.
Make a list of what you need to be independent this includes living costs and bills you already have.
- Car Insurance
- Phone Bill
Now it's time to ask yourself these important questions:
- How much am I making a month?
- Is it enough to move out?
- What have I been spending my checks on?
Let's say you make $1200 a month. If you're going to move out, you need to get used to being on a budget since you will now be responsible for everything. Can you afford to live alone? or do you need a roommate? If so, make sure to do your research with each person you interview.
Unfortunately, with this process, it doesn't usually happen over night, if you're that determined to move out as soon as possible, you need to stay on top of saving, and finding a place to move into. Also use this time to ask your parents for advice, the more you get them involved in your search, the better relationship you'll have when moving out.
At the end of the day, you want to make sure you're moving out for you and only you. Don't feel pressured or rushed to move out if it's an issue you can work around, though you do get to that point in your life where you run out of things to compromise and it's just that time to be your own person and live on your own. Especially since you can't really be an independent adult when you have mommy and daddy \making you feel like an adolescent.
Take your time, do your research, and make peace while you're still at home, you never know when you might need their help for something.