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What Men are Really Thinking

So this guy you really like, only after a few dates gives you the "I've been thinking" speech. Whether it was the tiniest blunder on your part or something in his world that clashes with yours, he's quick to pull the plug.

Since women typically like to use romantic comedies and fiction novels as a reference to their personal lives it's in my best interest to tell you that the men in those movies don't always "think" like men in real life. Generally in a movie when a guy needs some time to think he is automatically ready to pull the plug until minutes before the credits he realizes the bigger picture and they live happily ever after (or at least that's what we always assume).

The truth is, when a man uses the phrase "I've been thinking.." nothing good ever really comes after that.

Why? When a man (boy, guy or however you want to call him) says they have been thinking it really means "I have confirmed something I have already decided." To a women "I've been thinking" means "I may not be fully sure maybe you can perused me otherwise"...When women are faced with this situation we like to weigh out the pros and cons. Which is why in that moment we try to rationalize with them. It is almost like we are a lawyer during that time. We look at all the evidence or foreseeable evidence before we decide if the relationship is guilty of not having a future.(Does he make me laugh? Do we have a lot in common? Can I be myself around him? Will my family like him?)

Men on the other hand are more logical. They tend to go for the obvious. They typically don't waste time looking for a ton of reasons why they should continue if there isn't enough evidence that's already in plain sight. This means if those probable questions aren't answered yet he's probably not going to waste time studying the relationship.

That's what makes the beginning stages of dating tricky. You kind of only get one shot before they give you the benefit of a doubt if a problem arises.

How do I prevent this? Unfortunately, there is no perfect strategy to prevent this. Some guys just lack patience or get bored too easily. You can't always figure that out after a couple coffees. The last thing you want to do is spend more time analyzing your dates instead of enjoying them. The only thing you can do is trust your instinct. The moment you gut tells you to stop or slow down trust it with out any hesitation. 9 times out of 10 you're probably right.

It's important to keep in mind that not every guy is like this. However, don't assume every guy is the exception to the rule either. Some are smart enough to go "okay so we kind of got off on the wrong foot here, lets start over" Though if that doesn't happen don't take it as a loss think of it as a gain. He saved you from getting even more disappointed and hurt before more time was invested.

So overall in this situation: Pro: parting ways before breaking someone's heart. Con: Parting ways prematurely for superficial reasons. *if those reasons are in fact superficial* sometimes women are guilty of showing the "real" version of themselves a little too early giving the "defendant" fair reason to terminate.

My advice is to set standards and stick with them.(reasonable standards ladies) Don't negotiate something that is really important to you. It's one thing to accept his love for the Mets when you're a Phillies fan it's another to accept something just for the sake of settling. Also, listen to his standards too. (yes men have standards) Before any relationship can be developed you must be able to know and understand what each person is looking for. It's not always about you.

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