As Told By Me Archives

Nobody tells you the difference between cloud 9 and the honeymoon phase. The honeymoon phase is disposable, it's temporary and you know eventually you have to get back to reality. Cloud 9 is like the worst drug on the street and you're either emotionally stuck up there (like a studio 54 go-go dancer), or when you do try to climb down, you don't float off of it gracefully,  you crash hard and in most cases, it's the guy who instantly fears for his own life. Remember, men are hunters and if their pride is compromised by lack of competence in a situation, he may soon feel as if any minute now Kathy Bates is going to come in with a sledgehammer. The last thing you want is for him to think you brainwashed him for six months.  He soon realizes his future is too valuable thinking to himself, "if this is what happens when you fall in love I want no part of it." He's not mature enough to restrategize and find a better approach. (in some cases, but do...

So this guy you really like, only after a few dates gives you the "I've been thinking" speech. Whether it was the tiniest blunder on your part or something in his world that clashes with yours, he's quick to pull the plug. Since women typically like to use romantic comedies and fiction novels as a reference to their personal lives it's in my best interest to tell you that the men in those movies don't always "think" like men in real life. Generally in a movie when a guy needs some time to think he is automatically ready to pull the plug until minutes before the credits he realizes the bigger picture and they live happily ever after (or at least that's what we always assume). The truth is, when a man uses the phrase "I've been thinking.." nothing good ever really comes after that. Why? When a man (boy, guy or however you want to call him) says they have been thinking it really means "I have confirmed something I have alr...

Ever wonder why when you finally hear from your ex, it's during the holidays?  Well there is a perfectly reasonable explanation to this madness... After a breakup, you may go through a period where all communication is officially closed. You can't exactly pick up the phone and contact them the way you used to and you spend months hoping they finally say the things they should have said soon after the break- up. Why is that when we finally stop holding on to a beacon of hope for them to call or take us back that they finally contact us?  Why is it that this seems to only occur during a holidays or special occasion?  Reason #1 - Loneliness It's the holidays for crying out loud. This usually  involves family, friends, and that special someone. A lot of men tend to put love on the back burner to focus on everything else. However, at some point they hit a day or two where work just isn't enough. They holidays always display that cliche image of curli...

Let me just cut to the chase and say married men who flirt are NOT monsters. However there is a thin line between harmless flirting and crossing a major line of respect for your significant other. Lets start from the root of the issue of why men flirt. Men are known to be more sexual than woman. Studies have shown that 54% of men think about sex every day or several times a day. vs 67% of woman who think about sex a few times a month . (The Social Organization of Sexuality: Edward O. Laumann, John H. Gagnon, Robert T. Michael, and Stuart Michaels). Even though men think about sex and are thinking about it alot doesn't mean that all men, especially all married men act on each impulse they have. If that were the case every lawyer in America would be booked up until summer 2015. We all know that come that big day of when a man and woman say their vows in front of God and everybody they are making a promise to each other. However, just becau...

So the first date is going really well. Your into him and he's definitely into you. It's time to say your goodbyes for the evening, but a simple kiss goodnight isn't going to suffice. Should you go for it? or call it night? We're only human, and because of this we naturally feed off urges from others when the chemistry seems to be very strong. However, if your are in the hopes of getting a relationship out of this, maybe jumping into sex too soon may not be the best choice. What to Look out For : If you find that he is moving very fast in terms of him being so into you and making you feel amazing don't underestimate him. This doesn't automatically mean he's playing you, but it doesn't mean he's being honest with you either. Sometimes the biggest hints are in the smallest conversations. When playing 21 questions during dinner, pay attention to key points. Ask how long his recent relationship was. If he just got out of a 1-4 year + relationship he...