As Told By Me Archives

Nobody tells you the difference between cloud 9 and the honeymoon phase. The honeymoon phase is disposable, it's temporary and you know eventually you have to get back to reality. Cloud 9 is like the worst drug on the street and you're either emotionally stuck up there (like a studio 54 go-go dancer), or when you do try to climb down, you don't float off of it gracefully,  you crash hard and in most cases, it's the guy who instantly fears for his own life. Remember, men are hunters and if their pride is compromised by lack of competence in a situation, he may soon feel as if any minute now Kathy Bates is going to come in with a sledgehammer. The last thing you want is for him to think you brainwashed him for six months.  He soon realizes his future is too valuable thinking to himself, "if this is what happens when you fall in love I want no part of it." He's not mature enough to restrategize and find a better approach. (in some cases, but do...

So this guy you really like, only after a few dates gives you the "I've been thinking" speech. Whether it was the tiniest blunder on your part or something in his world that clashes with yours, he's quick to pull the plug. Since women typically like to use romantic comedies and fiction novels as a reference to their personal lives it's in my best interest to tell you that the men in those movies don't always "think" like men in real life. Generally in a movie when a guy needs some time to think he is automatically ready to pull the plug until minutes before the credits he realizes the bigger picture and they live happily ever after (or at least that's what we always assume). The truth is, when a man uses the phrase "I've been thinking.." nothing good ever really comes after that. Why? When a man (boy, guy or however you want to call him) says they have been thinking it really means "I have confirmed something I have alr...

I started dating when I was 18 and out of those 5 years, i've had some pretty hard breakups. Most were easier to get over, taking only a couple days or a month to let go, none of them compared to this one. My days were spent consuming myself of the memory of him, replaying the break up over and over in my head, trying to understand why he was more interested in someone he barely knew when I offered him everything I could for him. I think I listened to every sad song from Adele to Carly Simon, watched every romantic movie, and used so many tissues, kleenex had to put a shipment on back order. You can't really prepare yourself for a situation that almost puts you out of control. You may have been through similar situations in the past, but when the will to overcome is so strong and clarity seems so far away it may feel impossible. I had an extremely hard time letting go of something that wasn't finished and meant a lot to me, more because it didn't end peacefull...

One of the most exciting things about gift giving is knowing that a special someone will be on your shopping list this year. If you've been dating for only one month or almost a year it can be a challenge of what to get as well as how much is too much to spend on your new love. Just Met : (Budget: Under $15) The funny thing about timing, you never know when Cupid's arrow will strike you. The biggest dilemma when meeting someone less than a month before the holidays is you don't want to come off too bold, but you still want to buy something that says "I like you, and I'm glad we get to share this day together" 1-3 Months (Budget $15-35) During the first few months, you don't want to go overboard with the gift giving. Try to keep it modest without revealing how much you spent on him. Things like Gift Cards are an easy tell. Try looking out for items that suit his interest. Books on his favorite sports player, a small gift set of his favorite  colog...

The holidays are can be a reminder for many things, childhood, traditions, events. However, when you're an adult and single, it can also be a reminder to bring a date to Thanksgiving dinner. For others who are already in an on going relationship, the holidays also plays a part in testing each other if they can survive meeting the parents. Many people believe that one's family makes or breaks the continuance of a relationship. If meeting his friend weren't scary enough now you have to face making a good impression with his entire family, who generally are the people who matter most to him. The first thing to remember is the obvious. Be yourself, but not the you that you act around with your friends. They do want you to be casual and relaxed they can sense BS very easily so don't play them for fools. Warm up to them know what lines you can and cannot cross. Don't try to impress them with gifts and avoid spending hours picking the perfect outfit or ...

                                                        Lately it seems (well at least in my social network) that the new trend is “Relationship Validation”. Meaning so many couples (mostly girls) feel like they have to constantly remind their friends that they are in a relationship. When staring at your news feed, how many times do you see almost the exact same status from one of your friends that refers to the person they are currently dating? No one wants to be Debbie Downer and appear bitter to someone’s happiness, but if you notice a pattern in their public displays of affection you might find that they are putting on a show for a reason. When it comes to relationships, there are two types of people the veterans an...

I think Gretchen Wilson sang it best when it comes to that one girl who doesn't seem to get the memo that your boyfriend is taken. "She devils", "Maneaters", "homewreckers" however you address them, we have all dealt with it. The mystery is how do you handle this situation? There are at least 4 places girls like this strike. In School: She uses him as an excuses to be her study partner, walks the long way to class just to "say hi" and uses him as her main focus when performing at the school talent show At Work : He's the first person she goes to when something heavy needs to be lifted or when the computer miraculously freezes, Schedules her lunch breaks around his, and is interested in his weekend plans during casual conversation. At a party: Everyone's having a good time till she's had a few drinks from a long beer pong tournament. She's all over your man and suggest he take her out on the dance floor for an innoce...