Lately it seems (well at least in my social network) that the new trend is “Relationship Validation”. Meaning so many couples (mostly girls) feel like they have to constantly remind their friends that they are in a relationship. When staring at your news feed, how many times do you see almost the exact same status from one of your friends that refers to the person they are currently dating? No one wants to be Debbie Downer and appear bitter to someone’s happiness, but if you notice a pattern in their public displays of affection you might find that they are putting on a show for a reason. When it comes to relationships, there are two types of people the veterans and the validators.
Veterans: Almost everyone knows at least one couple who has been together for over two years and is still going strong. They work as a team; they’re not afraid to fight, and are good at finding a common ground rather then holding grudges towards each other. They’re past the honeymoon phase, but are still able to keep the spark in their relationship. When you look at them, you don’t have a ticking time bomb in the back of your head of when you predict they are going to split up. You’re actually rooting for them to last forever because they’re that much of a mature couple.
Validators: These are the people that feel like they have to certify or validate that they are happy in their new and “exciting” relationships. Mind you we have all met someone that we just can’t get enough of and are on cloud 9 or possible 12, but there is a difference when that person just has to go that extra mile to make us feel like we are in kindergarten again. The classic “I have something you don’t have” approach. Not only is this spiteful, but it’s just plain immature.
Why Do they Do This?
Validators are this way because of pure jealousy. They’re settling for a relationship they really don’t want and are convincing themselves that they're happy because either A. The one person they truelly want to be with has moved on or B. They have yet to get their fairytale ending. Because of this, they're either trying to make the other person jealous or they are writing the fairytale ending themselves due to lack of patience.
Having a relationship is almost like having a kid. You know the expression “Once you hit the third one you don’t worry so much about the little stuff anymore” that goes the same for having a boyfriend or girlfriend. Once you find someone that is everything you are looking for and primarily what you need in a relationship, you’re not going to feel like you have to constantly shout out to the hill tops how awesome this person is like he or she is your first born child. Many couples come to that place or have always found it easier to say as less as possible. People can already see how great they they are together without feeling like they have to write “My Boyfriend Is The Best” or “Dinner With Baby” 4 to 5 times a day. If you find that you're over doing it, you have to ask yourself; Am I doing this because they actually make me happy? or Am I doing this to persuade myself (and others) that they make me happy?
Very interesting. This was a good read :)
ReplyDelete