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When He Needs To Spread His Wings (Written for Him....and Her)

To many, a relationship is about sharing. Sharing personal information that one else knows, sharing your time and energy, sharing your ideas thoughts, and also sharing your dreams. If you've noticed that lately your significant other has been spending a lot of time stressing what's not happening rather then what is happening right this minute you could find yourself to be in a sticky situation if you aren’t already.

I decided to write this blog because after reading articles of women in this situation and after being is it myself I wanted to explore why this happens in a relationship. Things are going pretty well between you too and all of a sudden they want to take a break or just be friends because they need to get their life together. In a recent article posted by, one subscriber asked why her boyfriend broke up with her because he feels he needed to focus on a career and school. To the average person that seems like a plausible reason to break things off. However, to women it can seem confusing.

Men vs. Women

It is said that men are raised to be the alpha male, the decision maker, and supporter of a family. Many men are also raised to believe that success should always come first in life. The last thing they want is to have someone (a woman) be the one to take care of them causing a man to feel uncomfortable when they are unable to bring anything to the table. This can cause more emphasis on the things they are not yet accomplishing causing added pressure and stress. Women on the other hand believe that when we have someone by our side to share our rise to success it will build a stronger bond. Having that escape to balance out the stress of getting to where you want to be in life.

Personally I get it, but on the other hand I disagree as well. If anyone feels they are too consumed with personal situations in their life they should by no means enter a relationship. If a person wants to causally date they should be 100% honest. The best way to do that is tell the person they enjoy their company and friendship but right now they don’t feel confident that they would be able to commit to a relationship and it would not be fair to the other person when they deserve more than just sporadic time and attention. Never should they give him or her any intention that they are serious when they truly believe they are not. A man (and women) knows their life better than anyone else they know what they are up against every single day and should already know if they have the time to commit to a relationship. If you have any doubt at all that you can't  do it, DON’T?

If you randomly met someone you really like without any intention of looking for someone or even if you found yourself looking, the best advice is to just be up front. It is better to start off on good terms then to hurt other people in the process while you're trying to find yourself. Nothing is more of a turn off to a woman than uncertainty. Putting her in the friend zone is not going to lose her forever, but making the decision to be serious then changing your mind shortly after gives you a higher chance. Everyone makes mistakes, but this is one mistake you can't really afford to make. So let's say you're already with someone for however long  the two of you have been together. It’s been going pretty well maybe not perfect, but not a train wreck either that's when you notice holidays are popping up left and right nights out seem like it’s costing more each week and you're already behind on your own expenses. You don't want to hurt them, but at the same time you're just not able to be as supportive (financially and mentally) as you would like to be. First and for most NEVER take the easy way out and ask for some space via facebook, email, phone call or text message. Nobody likes the part of breaking up, but the better you handle the situation the greater chance there is of having a strong friendship that may lead to an even stronger relationship in the future. If not she will at least have respect for you.

In the end ladies never wait around for a man while he's getting his life together, and guys never get involved with someone until you know it's something you can handle (for the most part). If you have too many worries occupying your thoughts then just enjoying the company that's with you it's best to just be friends.

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