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The Art of Rejection

"What's Wrong with me?" Normally, this is the first question that goes through our heads when we face one of love's cruelest enemies. Not only does it suck, but it leaves us evaluating ourselves, asking our friends for reassurance, and sometimes it can even lower our self esteem. No matter how much we try to avoid it, at some point in our lives rejection finds us. Whether you've dealt with it one time or twenty, it still hurts and can really change your perception of falling in love. For one to understand how to fix the situation, the question isn't what's wrong with me? it''s what am I doing wrong?

They said they aren't that attracted to you

So they tell you "You're ugly and I don't see this working out" Okay maybe they didn't say it in that exact context, but no matter how polite one can put it no one wants to feel unattractive. To cope from this, we have to remember there is someone out there for everybody, but that doesn't mean you're everyone's type. Just because they weren't attracted to you doesn't mean you don't come across a person that doesn't strike your interest either. What may look one way to one person may look like art to someone else.

So,...Now that you know you don't belong in a tower in France living as a bell ringer, maybe you can find this as a blessing in disguise. Yes it's not what you wanted, yes you feel like you wasted your time, and yes it's insulting especially if you yourself didn't even find them that attractive, but for this to happen is only telling you that this person is not who you're supposed to be with.
No one should feel less of them self or settle for someone they arent fully attracted to. Physical attraction isn't the most important thing in a relationship, but that doesnt mean it should be excluded from the equation either. It's what helps make us comfortable with that person. Whether it's when we interact with that person or when we're intimate with that person, for both people t feel comfortable is what helps the relationship tremendously

They said they didn't want the same things

You want a two story house in the suburbs, and he wants a villa in Tuscany. You want your masters and he just wants a decent job. No matter how much we try to make situations like this work is just doesn't. Whenever you date anyone who life is going in the opposite direction as yours it can be difficult to compromise. Who wants to go five years to only find yourself saying goodbye in an airport. Sometimes people can be the perfect person for you for that time in your life right now, but sometimes you do have to think a little into the future to avoid dilemma. No one wants to feel intimidated because to them that person's life is too simple. Relationships aren't easy, but there is a lot you an avoid.

They said "it's not you its me"

The most cliche line anyone can say to you when dating, which makes it easy to decode that when they say its them they actually mean its you. If you find yourself getting dumped, but in the most theatrical way so much it belongs in a Stephenie Meyer novel don't be too quick to thank him for his chivalry. No not all guys plan this, some actually do care and don't want to burden you with their problems. However, some guys want to walk away with out any burnt bridges so it appears that no one holds all the cards. But secretly he has another deck in his back pocket. Not always, but sometimes knowing that you have no grudges towards him will leave the perfect opportunity for a future rebound. So in that case beware!

They said things went to fast
This has to be one of the dumbest things a guy can say only for the mere fact that usually when they are the ones saying it is because they moved fast first. When chemistry hits like a lighting bolt it can be hard to move one step at a time and it takes strength to suggest to slow down a few notches. But when that one person goes with the flow for a two weeks to a month or longer to later make you feel like you've held them captive shows they're the type that does not like to admit when they are wrong. It's one thing to both agree things got a little carried away , but its another to completely blame the other person.

They didn't say anything

Hands down the worst thing a guy could do. We all know how hard it is to reject someone, but avoiding the situation is worse then attempting to let them down easy. For anyone to not say anything leaves the other person feeling confused, hurt, betrayed, and angry. No one wants to spend an enormous amount of time wondering what they did wrong and no one wants to be the bad guy, but keeping quiet automatically makes you that person. Telling the person you are with, you no longer want to continue dating will sting at first, and they may be a little mad at you for it, but eventually they'll get over it and in some way thank you for sparing them a bigger heart break.

So, no matter how you've been rejected just realize that in the most horrible way they did you a huge favor.


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