Is Chivalry Really Dead?

 Before it was said the way to a girl's heart was to open the door for her. Today it's known to send her a good morning text message. Since romance novels and films such as Twilight and The Notebook have severely altered the female perception of romance, one can find themselves overlooking tiny acts of chivalry. What may not seem like a gentleman to you might actually be a decent guy to keep around.

Although we live in a different generation than our grandparents, it's not out of the question that men today still pick up on "old school" manors. Some men have come a long way since their days of "going steady" and romantic dates at the local roller rink when they were 12. Others however are just bigger kids with  smaller expectations.

Scenario: A true gentleman will treat dating like their dream job. After years of working a 9-5 that caused nothing but stress and aggravation (ex girlfriends) he finally gets the call (you) to be an executive at a major corporation (serious relationship). No way will he treat this opportunity like a summer job. A gentleman will do what it takes to succeed romantically rather than sexually. If  he isn't taking you seriously chances are he won't take the relationship seriously.

Here are some signs to look out for when spending time with your guy.

Background: This is primarily for the beginning of the relationship when you are getting to know each other. When talking about yourself and the people in your life see how he pitches his family. Does he have sisters? Is he close to his mother? I once dated a guy who had a fit when I told him I had purchased flowers for his mother since I would be meeting her for the first time. His response wasn't so much a "you don't have to try to impress her she'll love you", but a "she's not that special don't bother"  If you have or will be meeting his family pay attention to how he acts around them. *NOTE* Like in school we are notorious for using our grandparents to excuse our neglects if your guy never mentions his family, but one day claims to be taking his grandmother out to dinner that may be a red flag than a sign of chivalry.

Random acts of Kindness: When the two of you are out to dinner and are walking to your table does he let you lead the way or do you follow after him? if so Does he take the first chair? or Does he leave it for you to avoid walking around the table? When walking together does he leave you behind or is he always at your side? Little things like this questions how selfless he is and how safe you feel around him in the event that something ever happened.

Kissing: In the movie Hitch Will Smith's character referenced that the first kiss will tell a woman everything she needs to know about the relationship. Considering this movie came out when i was 15 it wasn't until I was 20 to finally understand. Every once and a while the two of you are going to kiss a lot more passionately, but when just saying goodbye or giving a quick smooch in the middle of a conversation does he ever kiss you gently? where are his hands? does he always aim for your neck? Is his tongue always shoved down your throat? Not only can a kiss tell you what the relationship will be, but will tell you what is more on his mind. At the end of the day even Edward gets the urge, he practically admits it in the series, but if your guy never pulls away  from temptation he might struggle with bigger distractions.

 Equality: When driving does he let you pick a song you like? Does he ask if you are hot or cold? When cuddling on the couch are you always watching what he likes? or Do you find a common ground? Are you the one always making plans or does he contact you ?  You're not going to agree on everything but it is important to compromise. Also no relationship should be a one way street it should be divided equally.

Finding the "perfect guy" is never easy, but appreciating what's right in front of you allows you to find perfections that you never knew where even there. So, just because your dream guy hasn't been frozen in time since 1918 still keep an open mind to the little things he does to show he cares.