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So You Broke Up....

I bet when you woke up that day you didn't see this coming, and for a split second the morning after, you actually thought you dreamt it, As much as breakups are suppose to guide us and make us stronger for the more important relationships in our life, they still suck. To go from not being able to see yourself with another person to feeling betrayed and confused at the same time.

Sometimes I feel like I know better then anyone what it feels like after you broke up with someone. So much to the point that I know every stage I am going to hit

1. First I feel overwhelmed of what just happened
2. For about a good hour I feel better about the situation and optimistic
3. Then begin to ball like i'm at a Justin Beiber Concert when my friends attempt to sell me every cliche quote they can think off starting with "his loss" and ending with "Everything happens for a reason"

No matter how many times you've been dumped or been the dumper, sometimes it can still be difficult to get through it. Whether it was for two weeks or two years, you shouldn't blame yourself for that. Getting over something you had high hopes for can be tough and frustrating when you run into people who think you should be a robot about it (which are usually men).

When you fall in love with someone or at least begin to gain a strong connection with them you take the risk that you could get hurt. What's even worse is, not only do you have to deal with the break up, you most likely have to deal with the public and awkward humiliation of changing your relationship status on Facebook, as well as the contemplation of deleting your former boa and fighting the strength to not cyber stalk them.

There really is no advice on how to deal with a break up except to not necessarily give up. However, sometimes we do need to temporarily "break up" with love. I spent my whole life in love with the idea of love. And I spent the past three years dealing with every possible senerio of a relationship and different forms of heartbreak back to back. I eventualy came to the place where I Just needed to only focus on myself. I got tired of playing the Mrs right, but not for right now role.

I realized after finally meeting someone just as ambitious as me that even though I wanted to explore my dreams independently a part of me felt that If I had someone by my side it would give me that push to actually do it. But there are some things you just have to do solo. I realized I already had love down, I practically had a PHD in it. But it was time to focus on life and balance out what kept getting in the way of my relationships. Once you feel confident about yourself and know your capable of loving someone the way they should be loved without all the bullsh*@# and drama, then the rest will come together on it's own.

So before you break out the junk food, and sarinade yourself with your favorite break up songs,
realize that 95% of the time your ex is not sitting around feeling sorry for himself, even if the split was mutual. Although women think more with their emotions, sometimes we have to be a guy and find that "It's whatever" attitude. Learn from the situation, hold on to what did go right, and find the will to forgive them. I never believed in second chances, but if there was a really good reason to repeat something that already failed once then I would ponder the idea. That day will come when your hit with the choice of starting over and it's up to you to figure out if its worth the second chance.



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