I don't know about you, but for me fall seems more like the time of resolutions rather than when they are normally made in January. I feel this is the perfect season to "start over" and just enough time to be ready for what's in store. Since the holidays are coming up such as, Thanksgiving,Christmas and every single girl's favorite Valentines Day, one can use this time to clear out the bad Karma or negative energy that has been causing situations to fail. While gathering research for a new blog, I came across one that was about feng shui. Basically they used the same idea, but applied it to one's love life. Have you ever noticed how refreshed and open minded you feel once you've finally cleared out your closet or picked up everything off your floor? You can get the same feeling when it comes to clearing out the "clutter" in your love life.
Are you still hoarding old keep sakes from past relationships? Ticket stubs? Teddy Bears? Old Rose Pedals? If yes, take this time to ask yourself why you're still holding on to this stuff. Is it because you want to always remember the good times? Is it because you feel if you throw it away it will jinx any chance of you two getting back together? Or is it because you want to remind yourself of what not to do this time? Sorry to say, but answering yes to all of these questions does not put you in the honor roll. Actually by holding on to these objects says you still aren't completely over the relationship and even though you have been dating and seeing other people you still wish these items weren't memories, but current items from your sweetie. They're your safety blanket for when that guy you were talking to decides to stop calling you. Like a drug, you use these items to get away from reality and reminisce on the moments where you were extremely happy. But here is the honest truth; if you have a box of stuff from different people, doesn't that tell you that if these moments happened once they most likely could happen again? The only reason none of these relationships have worked out is because even though you don't see it, your present this essence about yourself that says you're already reserved for someone else. Someone who probably has moved on already. Start making room for the person that will actually stick around.
Old Habits Die Hard
Making a life change doesnt exactly mean you have to make drastic changes, You can start with little alterations to create the new you. For example change your look. Have you been wearing the same style for years and have yet to try something different? Go to a store you have never shopped in before and buy something daring, but still feel comfortable in. Try a new frangrance, or make an appointment to get bangs or hair extensions. It's the little things that actually make a huge difference. What may not seem broke to you doesnt mean it can't use some fixing.
Okay, if throwing away the old necklace your boyfriend from middle school gave you wasnt hard enough you're really going to hate me when I tell you to erase your exs off your phone. And we both know you still have them saved. (Plus the back-ups you have stored too) 'Cause you know, just so there arent any surprises if they happen to contact you. In no way shape or form should you ever leave a welcome mat for someone who didnt care enough to be the boyfriend you deserve to have. Even if it didnt end on bad terms. If they want to contact you they will. They're not in your life anymore so there is no reason for them to be in your phone. Also it's time to stop facebook stalking them too. And by facebook I mean all social networking. (no loop holes missy) Yes you're always going to wonder what if, but the less you know the more you'll start moving on and thinking about him won't be as frequent. It's not going to be easy, especially since our generation has to know everything that is going when everybody, but once you take your eyes off the past you'll see the life you have right in front of you, and will focus more on that.
One More Stop Down Memory Lane
Now before you start over dosing on nostalgia this part is to look back at what exactly went wrong. If you saw the movie (500) Days of Summer. Joseph Gordon's Character's little sister gives him some tough love while he is coping from the break up of him and Summer. She tells him that she didnt feel Summer was right for him, and that when he looks back of what they had together that he should look again. We can spend so much time looking back at what seemed like this amazing moment, that we can become oblivious to a key elimate that could tell us the true potential of the relationship. Think about how you "sold yourself" did you emphasis how you wanted a relationship even when you thought you didn't? Were you a little too available or extra careful not to mess it up? As common as it is to be afraid of loosing someone when you show the slightest bit of unintrest it actually will do you some good to not have that fear. Don't be so afraid that they will easily dump you at the slightest error. It's when you have a carefree attitude that things are more likely to develop naturally. Try not to be too in control of the moment and just live in it. Also attempt to make different approaches of where you tend to meet these people. If for a while you've tried local bars or dating profiles and still no luck that may be a clue that this is not the place for you to find the guy you should be dating. Don't have an agenda to find someone everywhere you go, but keep in your subconcious that you could meet the love of your life anywhere.
Now I know this is a lot to take in, but you don't have to "feng shui" your whole life overnight. Try doing it in parts, and see how much better you feel with each task. Soon you'll be completly rejuvinated and ready to begin your new journey rather than traveling the same route that gets your nowhere.